she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
