Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
