Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
