If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
