8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
