His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
