Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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