They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
