Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
