and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just had sex bonerless
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
