I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
