You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
