Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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