We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
