There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
