so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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