Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
