It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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