Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
