Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
