You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
