can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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