...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
