i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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