is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
