He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
