I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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