Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
