I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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