My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
