Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
