so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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