I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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