It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
