shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
