Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
