i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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