When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Boobs speak an international language.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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