how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
