i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
