Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
