she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We got so high we made milksteak
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
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