i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
