Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
