If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
