Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
