you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
