Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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