Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
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