Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
