My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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