You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
