There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
