apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
